One of the most difficult parts of practising mindfulness is “letting go.” Stories that you have told yourself or have been told that harmed, insulted, accused or tore you apart are nothing but stories. You can replace the old narrative with more supporting one although the effort is not to ignore the reality but to see the wound, to accept it and heal it by letting go. Holding on to a toxic experience is a trap that moves you to the dark side.
How to let go
- Observe your hurtful and discouraging thoughts
- Practice diaphragmatic breathing and imagine that the frustrating emotion flows away with your exhalation
Emotions and feelings
- Instead of ruminating on the story and inflating the situation with fear and panic, take it at face value
- Sometimes it is best to engage with the negative thoughts and to confront them with counter argument
- Know that if something doesn’t go your way is not the end of the world, not necessarily other bad things will continue to happen
- Set an intention to realize the root cause of the negative thoughts, tension and frustrations
- Journalling your feelings is helpful and sometimes physical venting like yelling off into a pillow works
- Recognize that you have a choice to bid farewell to the hurt
- Create peaceful images to call to mind as a support system
- Realize that you are not in the centre of the universe
- In frustration ask yourself is this who you really are? Then align yourself with your peaceful and intelligent self
When you cultivate peace in your attitude towards life, you are diffusing fear. Instead of kicking yourself and others over mistakes, past hurts or old injustices, learn to detach and let go of the anxiety that is brewing from the fear, criticism or offence. It is satisfying to expose with rage the wrongdoers, vicious people or storm over unfairness but letting go with compassion and forgiveness makes you stronger. The idea is not to ignore nor to tolerate or to yield to unjust but to see things as they are! Your strength to analyze the situation with its risks and being able to shut off the anxieties which cripple and bring you to a depressive mood gives you the control over your emotions and allows you to accumulate the best possible outcome.
Feature image by Michael Bergt