“… You had got a nerve to accuse me of that when you did ….., You have no right to… – Are these remarks familiar to you? One time or another, we have all experienced conflicts with entitled angry persons that often remain unresolved as they choose not to take responsibility for their behaviors.
Naturally, in such situations, our anger strikes like an unguided laser beam in all possible directions in our body, and it escalates to destructive rage. And you wonder why suddenly all hell broke loose? You were trying to address a concern to change it for the better; however, you have to deal with abuse, threat, and disparaging language unreasonably.
Indeed, anger protects your sanity and helps you set boundaries, especially in response to mistreatment. Consequently, it happens when circumstances are misaligned with your values, so the anger starts whirling in your mind. Just like a rotor blade of a wind turbine, with each insult or injustice, our anger rapidly rotates, and if we have not taken care of our control system, the blade will break loose.
How to work with your anger?
The first step is to make a distinction between righteous anger and entitled anger. Both kinds of anger are informative; the former comes to improve and heal just like a friend, and the latter is born from assumptions, insecurities, and entitlement. By Dispelling the smokescreen of entitled anger, you will see the wounds. Which is a good thing if you pay attention and stop cooperating with the entitled self.
Mind you, you cannot ignore the entitled anger; if it is not addressed, it will become destructive, so listen to what it signals. What is it that you need to reckon with? What you need to pull to pieces and start re-building based on self-love and compassion for others? Work with it, learn from it, and keep in mind that entitled anger is a weakness so that you can remedy the toxic with righteous anger.
Take responsibility for your anger:
- Start journaling every time you feel the rage. Identify whether your anger is tied to a sense of identity, are you seeking approval, or actually you want to change things for the better.
- Take positive action, join a movement that you care about, start a creative hobby.
- Take a bird’s eye of your behavior and see the blind spots that you have missed. Listen to the feedback.
- Act as a caregiver to your inner child, remind yourself that mocking, shaming, and throwing threats on people are unacceptable. Remind yourself that a bully harms in ways that will forever scar and lead to devastating consequences for the receiver.
- Educate yourself – Stop assuming that you are always right and know everything.
- Remind yourself that you are worth it and love yourself to stop resentment and hurt others.
Featured image by: AykutAydogdu