Anger Is Not A Negative Emotion

Aristotle said, “The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and, further, as he ought when he ought, and as long as he ought is praised.”

 

Sara Shakeel

Anger is not a bad emotion. It is acceptable to be angry at wrong-doings, social injustice, wickedness, harmful behaviors, or many other forms of disappointments or hurt. Still, how we use that energy is important. Remember that anger is a feeling, and you cannot simply stifle or turn it to apathy. What you should do instead is to experience anger as part of yourself since it is another form of flight or fight response, so do not dismiss it but listen to its message.

When you stop and pay attention to your angry emotions, you will be inclined to control your behavior rather than your feelings. Simply because you do not want to be at the mercy of your anger; instead, you want to flip from putting the lid on inner pressure to be self-disciplined in your reactions.

Consequently, once you acknowledge that anger is part of being human, you will direct your attention to controlling the aggression fueled by anger. Keep in mind that emotions are signals, but the aggressive response is a behavior, therefore a choice. Plus, aggression is not always about violence. Being judgmental, excessively critical, or even passive-aggressive facial or physical gestures indicate aggression.

Consider the following aspects of anger to handle your aggression and not your angry emotions skillfully:

  • Anger is not a negative emotion is part of human experience – Accept it to deal with it constructively. 
  • Anger should not be stifled but influenced. Take a moment to identify your anger’s root cause; is it out of fear, threat, or hurt? This approach will clear distorted perceptions so that you can express your rage in effective ways. 
  • Anger should be communicated – Practice moments of silence before you respond. Remember that nobody will accuse you of how you feel, you are allowed to be angry, but you are responsible for acting upon it regrettably or unjustly. By the way, increasing your emotional vocabulary can significantly support your message.
  • Manage your behavior – Stop ruminating on whatever brought about the negative emotions since it will likely increase your anger’s intensity and cloud your judgment. 
  • Avoid using anger to address your emotional pain since it will become a habit – Learn to deal with it in healthier ways. For instance, if you are mad at someone close to you or at work, talk with them directly only when you are out of your tunnel vision mindset. 

To wrap up, step out of your comfort zone and refrain from lashing out whenever you are upset, or an unexpected has materialized. It might be painful to listen and explore your angry feelings; however, the challenge will equip you well with a toolbox for your responses and place you in a stronger position. 

 

Featured image by Gabe Leonard

Have Gratitude In Your Daily Life – Positive Vibe Series

When I lie on my back and look up at the Milky Way on a clear night and see the vast distances of space and reflect that these are also vast differences of time as well, when I look at the Grand Canyon and see the strata going down, down, down, through periods of time which the human mind can’t comprehend . . . it’s a feeling of sort of an abstract gratitude that I am alive to appreciate these wonders, when I look down a microscope it’s the same feeling, I am grateful to be alive to appreciate these wonders. 

Richard Dawkins

The concept of gratitude is described in different ways as an emotion, a virtue, or an attitude. Whatever your understanding of gratitude, often, it is defined by a two-step process: 1) “recognizing that one has obtained a positive outcome” and 2) “recognizing that there is an external source for this positive outcome.” (Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough). Yet, whatever your disposition with its meaning, interestingly, gratitude is not merely a cultural creation. Scientific research has shown that the concept is embedded in our evolutionary development. For instance, it has been observed that birds, vampire bats, or fish incur some costs to themselves in helping another member of their species, in view that it might be beneficial to them, eventually.

Furthermore, scientists suggest that gratitude has been developed gradually from this “tit for tat” behavior, better known as “reciprocal altruism.” A process that is based on turning strangers into friends who will likely help one another. Further studies on chimpanzees support this idea that these primates share food with another of their kind if they have been groomed or helped by them in the past. Or, studies from neuroscience have observed some areas in the brain that involve experiencing and expressing gratitude. 

Consequently, gratitude is an inherent cognitive response strongly associated with greater happiness and better physical health. A study has shown that people’s heart health improves when they show appreciation, which is related to gratitude. Regardless of how you feel, express, or express gratitude, this emotion undeniably builds stronger relationships, creates good experiences, increases our well-being, and cultivates an optimistic attitude. Not to mention, gratitude has psychological benefits perceived as an intervention to overcome negativity. Moreover, individuals who have a grateful disposition are better protected from various forms of burnout. For instance, athletes who have grateful mindsets are less prone to burn the candle at both ends.

Nevertheless, the ability to be grateful requires seeds of humility and the willingness to develop our disposition intelligently. One of the most effective ways to cultivate gratitude is to keep a journal. Studies have found that “counting your blessings” for ten weeks and keeping them in a gratitude journal increases optimism and improves life satisfaction, self-esteem, and, importantly, decreasing depression symptoms. Knowing well that as humans, we are more sensitive to negative emotions than positive. For instance, we will be miserable if things are taken away from us than if we were to receive a gift. Needless to say that being grateful does not translate into living a modest life with no ambition. On the contrary, gratitude is one of the essential components of self-improvement. It starts with full awareness of what can go wrong, what we can be grateful for, nurture a positive mindset, and build on our skills to reach our goals and progress.

In the meantime, remember:

Learn to be thankful for what you already have while you pursue all that you want.

Jim Rohn

 

 

Featured image by Perfectionist Magazine

How to Create Your Ideal Lifestyle

Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”

Living your ideal lifestyle involves how you feed your personality traits and tendencies. Are you nurturing your positive disposition in life or shifting towards negativity? What are your world-views or how do you perceive your self-image? Prior to answering these questions, we must understand that there is a clear distinction between our responses to certain situation which will dictate our moods or emotions and our dispositional affect. Which translates into personality traits. Bear in mind that the intensity of our emotions is directly related to our mentality.

Ulysse Nardine
Ulysse Nardine

Individuals who have tendencies towards positive attitudes are innovative and creative. They will make better decisions in dealing with important situations or negotiate in a cooperative state of mind. Having an optimistic view is not to be mindless of dangers or uncertainties but to plan efficiently and be willing to be flexible in one’s activities.

Bathke Bespoke
Bathke Bespoke

There is no influence like the influence of habit

The energy you inject into your mental focus steer your direction in life. To increase the likelihood of achieving your goals, you need to squash the unproductive thoughts and habits. By practicing awareness you can catch the negativity monster and toss it out of your mind. Figuratively speaking create an image of the unwanted thought as the most despicable entity and breathe it out of your system. Or as once a spiritual Master in a Buddhist Temple advised, close your eyes, imagine a divine or a peaceful source that generates red light unto you. Inhale the light through your nose deep into your being and exhale the black smoke out of your mouth. Repeat nine times and then change the colour of the red light to an angelic hue while you continue your breathing exercise.

NEW CONTINENTAL GT - Bentley Motors
NEW CONTINENTAL GT – Bentley Motors

Replacing habits that impede your progress towards your desired lifestyle can be replaced by vibrant and useful traits. Reminding yourself about the purpose of your endeavour, breaking down the general statement of change in patterns of behaviour to specific and practical actions or conducts, strengthens your efforts to reach your goals.

Italian artist Millo Mural Painting
Italian artist Millo Mural Painting

The Universe is change, our life is what our thoughts make it. Marcus Aurelius

Ultimate Boardroom in the Sky - Boeing (AV Planners)
Ultimate Boardroom in the Sky – Boeing (AV Planners)

An architect has a vision and a goal. He investigates, sketches, designs, includes details, develops, considers support team and tools, administers and observes the process to completion. Just like an architect, our abstract or concrete hopes and lifestyle are attainable if we consciously attract what we want and positively take part in polishing our behaviours to shine.

Ultimately,  progress and self-development is never-ending and that is why life is worth living in Style!

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