Anger is a valid emotion, and it should be expressed not simmered nor irrationally misused. The crackling emotion should indicate the painful experience without an unhealthy sense of entitlement. Perhaps we are often challenged by hurtful incidents, injustice, negligence, wrongdoings, or any other reason that threatens our sense of self or the greater good, and probably it stirs up negative emotions in every tissue and cells of our body. Still, it does not justify mindless behavior that prevents us from deeply listening or implies us to make biased and flawed decisions with awful consequences.
Learning to tame the exaggerated anger even worse, the hostility that drives people away will help us live as a cooperative human being. Our social interactions will improve, and the reasonable individual in us outshines our reptilian brain. It takes plenty of self-awareness to express anger affectively, and maturely. And surely it does not happen overnight. Here are a few suggestions to reflect on:
Identify the primary motive behind your anger
Question the intensity – Reflect on the past situations when your anger got better of you. Was it fear, frustration, ego, guilt, shame, anxiety… that made you erupt like a volcano? Once you have the clarity of reason, examine your intentions to understand your behavior better when you are discharging your negative emotions.
Compressed or unaddressed anger can manifest in different ways; look for the signs: for instance, mean sarcasm, apathetic attitude, self-sabotaging by not responding to the opportunities, being annoyed by trivial things, having controlling or addictive behaviors, nervous habits, blowing out of proportion a minor incident, chronic fatigue.
Ask yourself, is the strong emotional outburst cascading the underlying reason of self-entitled mentality? Exhibiting self-pity, over-exaggerated sense of self-importance, uncompromising attitude, showing signs of frustration when others think differently, passive contempt, cynical, or absurdly critical outlook are typical indications of a self-entitled mindset.
Do not live in the past, one type or another; hardships are part of life. How you handle the past distressing experiences will influence your present and future. Transforming bitterness and resentment to understanding and generosity by permitting others and yourself to make mistakes is a good start.
Stop comparing yourself to others to take the edge off the self-entitled mindset. Focus on what you want to achieve and make a list of the steps you need to take to make them happen. The key is not to get discouraged; there will be setbacks, you will fall, but learn to rise and keep going.
Do things not for the reward but because it is the right thing to do. It is always nice to receive acknowledgment for a good deed; however, accept that life does not work that way, and your efforts might be undermined, unrecognized, or simply unrewarded.
Practice treating others with compassion and respect.
Be happy for others for their achievements. Celebrating other people’s success when you are facing adversity shows beyond doubt the strength of character.
Learn to change – For instance: Join a group that their activity or point of views are unfamiliar to you. Spend time to help the less fortunate through volunteering.
While the idea to cultivate restraint is good, there may be times that we need some support. Hence, reaching out for professional help to tackle personal anger issues is a sensible approach.
Aristotle said, “The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and, further, as he ought when he ought, and as long as he ought is praised.”
Anger is not a bad emotion. It is acceptable to be angry at wrong-doings, social injustice, wickedness, harmful behaviors, or many other forms of disappointments or hurt. Still, how we use that energy is important. Remember that anger is a feeling, and you cannot simply stifle or turn it to apathy. What you should do instead is to experience anger as part of yourself since it is another form of flight or fight response, so do not dismiss it but listen to its message.
When you stop and pay attention to your angry emotions, you will be inclined to control your behavior rather than your feelings. Simply because you do not want to be at the mercy of your anger; instead, you want to flip from putting the lid on inner pressure to be self-disciplined in your reactions.
Consequently, once you acknowledge that anger is part of being human, you will direct your attention to controlling the aggression fueled by anger. Keep in mind that emotions are signals, but the aggressive response is a behavior, therefore a choice. Plus, aggression is not always about violence. Being judgmental, excessively critical, or even passive-aggressive facial or physical gestures indicate aggression.
Consider the following aspects of anger to handle your aggression and not your angry emotions skillfully:
Anger is not a negative emotion is part of human experience – Accept it to deal with it constructively.
Anger should not be stifled but influenced. Take a moment to identify your anger’s root cause; is it out of fear, threat, or hurt? This approach will clear distorted perceptions so that you can express your rage in effective ways.
Anger should be communicated – Practice moments of silence before you respond. Remember that nobody will accuse you of how you feel, you are allowed to be angry, but you are responsible for acting upon it regrettably or unjustly. By the way, increasing your emotional vocabulary can significantly support your message.
Manage your behavior – Stop ruminating on whatever brought about the negative emotions since it will likely increase your anger’s intensity and cloud your judgment.
Avoid using anger to address your emotional pain since it will become a habit – Learn to deal with it in healthier ways. For instance, if you are mad at someone close to you or at work, talk with them directly only when you are out of your tunnel vision mindset.
To wrap up, step out of your comfort zone and refrain from lashing out whenever you are upset, or an unexpected has materialized. It might be painful to listen and explore your angry feelings; however, the challenge will equip you well with a toolbox for your responses and place you in a stronger position.
Zeina Esmail, an award-winning fashion editor-at-large of Fashion Magazine and stylist to the stars, has a deep understanding of visual communication. Her interpretation of human motivation and needs through her editorial/advertising visual productions offers brands an opportunity for a stronger emotional connection with the consumers. Her recommendations bear in mind the psychological principles that trigger aspirations.
Creating a strong concept and delivering the strategic vision in a memorable and relevant way to capture the audience’s interest is Zeina Esmail dazzling expertise. She brings forward a unique vision that engages and seduces the viewers. She remarkably shapes the editorial campaigns that resonate effectively with the consumers and wins them over by appealing to their short attention spans.
ZE: I didn’t even know this world existed. I have a Science degree because my parents are very traditional and wanted to make sure I had something to fall back on, just in case. I moved to Toronto from Calgary and went to Ryerson to get some kind of insight into fashion. Had a roommate who was working at an agency and then she started styling and I decided to try it. It was like 14-15 years ago, and I feel like it wasn’t as saturated then. I was lucky and never really assisted, and kind of threw myself into it and have been here ever since.
Jupilings: What is your role in fashion campaigns or editorial image-
ZE: The stylist does a lot more than just ‘style’. When it comes to editorial, we often are the ones who decide on the concept, the team, location, hair and makeup, etc. Also, we request all the clothes that work accordingly with it.
For campaigns it depends. There are sometimes creative agencies involved, but often times the stylist provides suggestions for hair, makeup, models and even the direction. Obviously, we are there as stylists and to carry out concepts through the wardrobe. You need to have a clear idea of a brand/designers direction and vision and then execute it the best way possible. Those pictures set the direction and identity for brands, so it is a very important process.
Jupilings: As a fashion director you tell stories, how do you find the thread of the narrative-
ZE: Through editorials, I always like to have some sort of common thread. You find those through so many different channels. Sometimes it’s the location that tells a story or the hair and makeup that brings a common element. Obviously, clothing tells a story, and you do that through trends of the season or by simply using your imagination. Another way is collaborating with your team to come up with the best concept.
Jupilings: What are the qualities to succeed as Fashion Director-
ZE: You really have to know what is going to be best for the job you are working on and treat it like it’s its own project always. You need to determine when you are hired for your aesthetic and when you are hired to refine/elevate someone else’s. Hard work is a given; you need to be on team ‘yes’.
Being creative is something that is obviously very important, but I feel like everyone is creative in their own ways it’s just learning how to really use it and gage what is best for that particular project. Often times you have the opportunity to do something amazing and inspiring, and then other times you are there to edit and elevate clothes and accessories that are already paired up.
Also, it’s very important to be confident enough to speak your opinion when it is asked of you. If something doesn’t work you need to be able to identify it right away and modify it until it does.
Jupilings: Which decade inspires you the most-
ZE: Hard question! I am so into the 60s and 80s!
Love mini skirts and all those shapes, colours and fabrics from the 60s. The 80s/early 90s has been such a big influence in fashion for the last few years, and it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. The big shoulders, big belts, colours, graphic shapes. Love it all.
Jupilings: What are the guidelines to develop a personal style –
ZE: I don’t know if there are guidelines. Follow your heart and what you like. It’s in all of us we all know what we like and what we don’t. Wear what you feel is comfortable and don’t feel afraid to step out of your comfort zone once in a while. There is so much out there for us to see now so if you need guidance, it’s always at your fingertips. Don’t buy things people tell you to buy if you don’t like them or just because they are trendy. Also, if you like something that’s bold try it in small hits if you are afraid to dive in.
Jupilings: Top essential accessories for professionals female/male
A great jacket/blazer in a dark solid colour that FITS you. Don’t buy sizes that make your jacket look two sizes too big (that’s the biggest mistake men make). A tailor can do a lot for you or look online at some brands you admire and use them as a guideline for fit.
Again jeans that fit you. Slim jeans will always be more flattering whether you are 5-95 and XS or XXL. They don’t have to be ‘tight’ but slim is better than saggy jeans. Nobody likes to look at those.
A good belt and good shoes. Polish them often (it’s like $4 to buy polish at the dollar store and can change the appearance of your accessories).
Same as above. Good jeans for sure.
I also think jeans that stop at the ankle are flattering on everyone (and only as long as they are skinny leg).
Don’t buy clothes that are too big for you.
Don’t wear crop tops if you know you shouldn’t
Don’t wear leggings as pants. They are not pants.
A good black blazer. A must-you can tuck it, leave it open, closed, over the shoulder, over jeans, belt it, etc.
A white collared shirt that has a good cuff. Goes with everything.
A good pair of shoes and a good bag. You don’t need to spend a ton of money. There are way too many amazing options now for anyone to make an excuse about not being able to find things. Go online, shop resale.
Juupilings: What are the best accessories for male executives-
ZE: A great briefcase/bag for sure.
Good belt (it can be from the Banana Republic or a designer, and often you can get two colours in one).
Shoes. Don’t think nobody sees them-everyone sees them.
Belts are a great way to define your waist and can give something very simple a facelift. Look at Emmanuelle Alt (editor of Paris Vogue) as inspiration to this.
Also, Leandra Cohen is a great example of mixing things in unexpected ways.
Jupilings: What’s one branding lesson you’ve learned in your career and ventures-
ZE: Be true to yourself. If I ever skewed away from that, it always had a negative effect on me and my career. It is very hard with social media to question your identity and keeping yourself from trying to keep up with everything that everyone puts out there. However, it’s not all real or as it seems. So be you.
Jupilings: How do you deal with setbacks-
ZE: This can be the most stressful industry. I mean let’s face it we aren’t saving lives, but people act like you are. You lose clients, people can say negative things about you, sometimes you won’t get hired for reasons beyond your control, a client can change direction, budgets get cut, you can get delayed travelling, and it comprises an entire shoot, the list is endless. You just have to deal. Thick skin is something you develop in this industry, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t affected by things. I really try to remember everything I have to be thankful for in my career and my life. Also, when things go bad, they always get better. It’s hard to say you can’t let things bother you; you just have to cope (as we do in our everyday life) and try to remember how lucky we are and fortunate we are.
Jupilings: Who inspires you and why-
ZE: So many people
I have two small children, so I often look at women in this industry that have kids and are successful (designers, stylists, other business women).
I also have some close friends who have struggled for different reasons in their life and see how positive and amazing they are and try to remember how lucky I am to do what I love and am recognised for it. We often focus on what we don’t have (including myself), it’s human to do so, and it’s really important to look past that and be gracious.
Jupilings: Favourite place to chill with friends in Toronto-
ZE: This sounds crazy, but my dad always told us to think of the negative before the positive. Not because we should always look at the bad before the good, but because it will always prepare you for any circumstance and you will always be prepared. I try to remain positive but I definitely always try and think of ‘what can happen if ….’ and it’s probably why I am so OCD when it comes to my job.
Zeina Esmail has worked with Miley Cyrus, Gigi Hadid and Gwen Stefani and collaborated with international publications: Vanity Fair, Glamour, Elle Russia, French Magazine, Swedish Plaza and top Canadian designers such as Lucian Matis and Pink Tartan‘s Kim Newport Mimran.
Overblown and imperfect, sensual and symbolic, are layers of different circumstances and conditions that Alice Zilberberg explores in her compositions. An Award-winning Fine-Art Photographer, Alice communicates complexities and possibilities of human conditions in our contrived world. Her visual language merges hallucinogenic scenes and what appears to be a reflection of the reality. She elevates her subjects mythically, however, she does not spare them the fallibility of their entity.
The images go through mutations, they change in form, become fragile, dramatic or grand. Still, Alice exposes her subject matters in symbolic ways. The confluence represents the unconscious and the notion of seeing one thing through another. Alice Zilberberg taps into her imaginative psyche to open a dialogue about the female power, nature and challenges the philosophical questions about self.
Interview with Alice Zilberberg
Jupilings: Tell us about yourself and how you got into art/photography-
AZ: I started drawing and painting when I was very young. I started playing around with manipulating images even before I shot my own. When I picked up a camera in my last year of high school, I saw that I liked the detail that the medium of photography gave me, as well as the dichotomy of the real/unreal that I was able to achieve using digital painting. I’ve been working in this style since.
Jupilings: The fundamental principle in your creations-
AZ: I would say that principles change during different periods in my creation. At the moment I am emphasizing trying every idea that I have, without being scared, and eliminating expectations of what it “needs” to be.
Jupilings: What is your perspective on life-
AZ: I always try to keep in mind that we have a limited amount of time here, and death is inevitable. We should try to enjoy and explore things we want to create or do as much as possible.
Jupilings: What are you aiming for in your art-
AZ: My latest work asks questions pertaining to the state of being, particularly our relationships, whether to ourselves or others. In it a find a kind of peace that I hope helps others look inward and find answers about their emotionality.
Jupilings: What surprises you most in life, even though as an artist/photographer, you narrate dreams, ideas, out of ordinary situations,..through images-
AZ: I’m surprised by different things, and I am used to the surprise. I think it’s important to keep learning and exploring as much as possible in the world. I think being curious and asking many questions is a really healthy thing, which provides you with wisdom for your next step in life.
Jupilings: What motivates you to take pictures, is it an emotional state, philosophy of life, politics or advocacy-
AZ: The creative process is a therapeutic one for me, and I hope that my work inspires others to look inward as well. It’s about trying to make sense of the complex human condition, to provide some sort of relief and even a sense of control over our lives.
Jupilings: Do you have a preference in camera, software or technology ? & why-
AZ: I am not a technology-oriented person. I’ve always been in the mindset of getting your hands on enough to create what you want to create. We often get carried away with all the technology can do, instead of thinking of what we need to do what we already do.
Jupilings: Which photographer has influenced you most-
The works of many photographers inform my work, but I think my ultimate favorite artist is Salvador Dali.
Jupilings: What is your favourite subject to capture-
AZ: I rarely think of my work as photographing just one subject; photography becomes a kind of canvas for me on which to create and paint over, making an image that feels like a digital painting rather than a subject. My favorite thing to work on is whatever I’m working on currently since the excitement, and the possibilities take over me.
Jupilings: What does women empowerment mean to you?
AZ: It means being in touch with yourself, your cravings, and needs. Going for it no matter what gender you are.
Jupilings: What are your tips about building a brand name as an artist/photographer-
AZ: I think that when you are starting out, it is important to just focus on creating whatever you want, without labels, branding, or anything. As soon as you are put into a box and labeled, it could be restrictive to your work, and you could kill the very creativity in you that drew you to create in the first place. Later on, it might be more important to develop a language around your work that you feel represents you.
Jupilings: What do you do to conquer fear or self-doubt-
AZ: When something overwhelms me, I just take the first step in the direction of trying something. I then try to focus on the next step. I find that if I do this, I very quickly either get into a flow or see that the experiment is not working. I will learn and move on.
Jupilings: What are your thoughts about the blockchain technology especially in support of digital art?
AZ: I think different options to sell your art are always great, especially one that addresses the authentication problems for digital artists. I haven’t explored this area myself, but I look forward to seeing the changes in the art market.
Jupilings: Would you consider using the blockchain technology platform to reach global digital art/ photography enthusiasts? What are the problems in your industry do you want these platforms to solve-
I am open to it, I think the blockchain and art relationship is still evolving, and I look forward to seeing how it develops.
Jupilings: What superpower you would like to have ? and why-
AZ: I want to teleport to any place at any time, it would save me so much travel time and jetlag for any projects I’m working on.
Jupilings: Which movie you would have liked to be the lead actor-
AZ: I would hate being the lead actor in any movie; I am terrible of being put on the spot!
Jupilings: What is your life motto-
AZ: This is your time to do whatever you want to do.
Natalie Shau is a mix media artist and a photographer from Vilnius, Lithuania. Influenced by religious imagery, fairytales illustrations and eclectic art world, she taps into the myths, dreams and steers the play of thought to where there is no rational boundary. She explores the complexities of human emotions, by suggesting vulnerability and strength of her surreal and extraordinary creatures. Natalie renders fantasy and reality themes provocatively and elegantly. Besides her personal artistic projects, she rigorously creates artwork for musicians, theatre, fashion magazines, writers and advertisement campaigns.
To learn about her and her vision, I had the opportunity to ask her few questions:
What inner force inspires you to create?
Inspiration is usually the beauty of nature and art (any kind, literature, painting, photography, cinema).
What about motivation, what is the outside force that compels you to create?
Motivation for me is when people like what I create and support my artwork.
Do you aspire to drive public awareness on current social or political issues when you are creating a work of art?
Some social issues sometimes, but political absolutely not. Everything nowadays is extremely polarized. And you are running a risk to get into a lot of trouble if you were to express your opinion, freely. I am certain many people prefer not to talk about what they really think nowadays. Specially when you are a public person.
What is your dream project?
I would be very interested in creating a movie & a crazy photography set based on some dark fairytale.
And, do you have a particular designer / brand / production that you would like to be involved in their’s marketing campaign?
Well maybe Gucci? That would be nice.
Do you have creative patterns, routines or rituals?
Yes, I usually work at night. Daytime I just can’t concentrate.
What’s the best advice you ever had about how to be more creative?
Listen to your inner true self.
What does women empowerment mean to you?
Don’t be a victim and fight for your goals.
What are your tips about building a brand name as an artist?
Just a lot of work, people develop styles only by creating and working.
What do you do to conquer fear or self doubt:
In such circumstances, I always think that I have so much while many others don’t even have basic things. So I must not complain.
What are you thoughts about the blockchain technology specially in support of digital art?
Well, I have not yet looked deep at it, yet, however, I am very very happy that there will be more possibilities for artists.
Would you consider using blockchain technology platform to reach global art enthusiasts?
What are the problems in the Art Market that you would like these platforms to solve?
Well the biggest problem nowadays for independent artists is of course how to fund themselves and have the possibility to acquire new materials for their art projects.
What super power would you have liked to have ? and why?
Being able not to sleep. So I could create more and visit many places.
Which movie would you have liked to be the leading actor?
La Reine Margot
What is your life motto?
Stay true to yourself.
Natalie Shau has collaborated with many brands, please refer to her website: https://natalieshau.carbonmade.com/about