How to feel lasting joy?

I have been contemplating the word joy or happiness in the past few years if I may use them interchangeably. What’s best for me, what gives me pleasure, and most importantly, how do I measure my well-being? Typically, our pursuits, interests, experiences, and how we choose to live form part of our well-being value list. Hopping from the linguistic meaning of the word to the spectrum of emotions defined by psychology and finally to the philosophical value of joy, I was on a mission to find my answers.

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Cyril Rolando

The first lesson was that life could go well or not and influence our state of mind; however, to feel joy is about orienting the heart towards peace. Taking a dip into the real meaning of pleasure was to remove all the superficial layers of how people portray their personality as a smiling emoji. At the same time, one could observe their tensions and frustrations.

I learned that it is OK to explore, and you are not obligated to smile all the time and pretend to be cheery when you are fearful, frustrated or when your incredible inner hulk is about to pop up. All the emotional rollercoaster ride had nothing to do with feeling genuine joy.

Deep down, we all can feel happiness! If you have no desire to be part of the pretentious Cheshire cat group on a merry go round, then start the inner-reflection. Hush all the noise of what encapsulates joy characterized by the latest trends in cultural concepts, social belief, or editorial images and re-connect to your heart.

Throughout civilization, whether through Eastern or Western philosophies and scientific research, the indication that the heart is the most important organ in the human body is prevalent. From Aristotle or Abu-Nasr al-Farabi, Ninth century Arabic philosopher, to Prof. Paul Pearsall, a clinical neuropsychologist and clinical professor of the University of Hawaii, they all pointed to the power of the heart to store memory, a center of reason and having the ability to think. Prof. Pearsall’s research on heart transplant patients indicated the possibility that a donor’s personality traits transfer to the recipient. The parallels ranged from the same taste in food and music to sexual and job preferences. Moreover, the electrical frequencies of our hearts are much stronger than our brains. Importantly, our heart transmits many instructions to the brain on what to do.

Our heart and brain communicate in four ways: 1- Neurologically, via nerve impulses, 2- Energetically, via magnetic fields, 3- Biochemically, via hormones and neuro transmitting chemicals, 4- Biophysically, via blood flow. The energetic interaction of the heart, most specifically the heart’s magnetic field, envelops every cell of the body and extends out in all directions, 6 to 10 feet, into space. Hence, the coherence between the heart and the brain is vital to feel joy. This state of flow is to quiet your mind and to open your heart.

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Only for you – Catrin Welz-Stein

During the chaos, confusion, or heartbreak, align your self-healing power with the concept of peace. The harmony and the lack of hostility take the individual to a time in the future. If we have the capacity to lower our blood pressure, improve our hormonal balance to recover from heart attacks, then we are able to self-regulate independent of the external conditions. A clear intention to feel joy elevates the electrical charge and serves as a magnet. Knowing that happiness is one of the heart’s elevated feelings, learning about self-regulation and practice leads to lasting fulfillment.
By improving brain function through the heart, we reach mental clarity and discern a joy greater and more profound than a smile.

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Cyril Rolando

The second lesson was to stop judging and getting over the fear of being judged. Being compared, evaluated, or to make a judgment are exhausting sentiments. Recognize that the anxiety of disappointment, fear of failure, or shame is just a perception. By opening your heart to find harmony and immersing yourself and others into the created space, the judgments become irrelevant and unworthy.

Mastering to use your heart’s wisdom allows you to reach the inner-peace and a fulfilling relationship with yourself, which can immensely impact and be the magnet for the pursuit of happiness and life you want to lead.

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Cyril Rolando

Featured image by Cyril Rolando

How To Control Your Anger?

Life has unpleasant incidents, and naturally, the pressures and pain felt from the troublesome problems or offensive behaviors often manifest through anger. An emotion that ramps up high blood pressure, stress, anxieties, and evoking hard feelings in relationships. The reasons behind this emotion depend on different situations, whether it is from being helpless to have been treated unjustly or overwhelmed and fearful. One form or another, anger is a response to pain. Still, pain is not the only reason; our thoughts, assumptions, or interpretations intensify emotion. As humans, we tend to have unrealistic and hopeful expectations, such as being understood by everyone, or everything will go as planned. Possibly our hopes shattered, and we are in for a rude awakening. This is when anger creeps in.

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Welderwings

Anger can also happen consciously or unconsciously to distract attention from the root cause of the pain and redirecting the focus to external factors. In this situation, the pain’s ease is temporary and leaves the person vulnerable to chronic emotional distress.

 

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Welderwings

Anger complicates situations. It gives the furious sense of righteousness and power a feeling of superiority without considering other perspectives. Regrettably, this perverse gratification of anger to stamp oneself as a torchbearer of moral supremacy league will use up the individual’s credibility. An uncomfortable situation commands assertiveness in response rather than aggressive behavior.

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Welderwings

 Nevertheless, anger can be used constructively once you gain insight into the reasons. In many ways, it can serve to be indeed in control of our reactions. To manage our anger in a difficult or unforeseen situation, practice three steps:

  • Shift your thoughts to a neutral state. Do no associate negative motives to the person or their action.
  • Observe and listen, do not lash out; it will make you look irrational.
  • Be assertive and specific in expressing your feelings and expectations without offending or undermining other people’s rights to think or act differently.

In a foggy situation, when we are at most vulnerable, a little anger is the antidote. Use it wisely. If we throw a tantrum, our emotions can cloud our judgment, and we can come across as unqualified or a pain to deal with. Assertively communicate what is at stake. Like a campaigner who believes in its cause and passionately points to the injustice, take command to tell your story with conviction and rally support.

 

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Rob Woodcox

Clearly, dealing with anger or angry people is not an easy task; as long as we know that arguments, displeasures, and sadness exist and we compassionately realize that there is a reason for them, solutions appear. He knew that everyone has vulnerabilities, and it takes sound judgment to look beyond unwarranted anger. The famous story about Alexander taming Bucephalus by noticing that the famous horse was afraid of his own shadow illustrates good practicing sense. He pointed Bucephalu’s nose towards the sun and calmed the beast.

 

Featured image by Shaylin Wallace