Anger Is Not A Negative Emotion

Aristotle said, “The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and, further, as he ought when he ought, and as long as he ought is praised.”

 

Sara Shakeel

Anger is not a bad emotion. It is acceptable to be angry at wrong-doings, social injustice, wickedness, harmful behaviors, or many other forms of disappointments or hurt. Still, how we use that energy is important. Remember that anger is a feeling, and you cannot simply stifle or turn it to apathy. What you should do instead is to experience anger as part of yourself since it is another form of flight or fight response, so do not dismiss it but listen to its message.

When you stop and pay attention to your angry emotions, you will be inclined to control your behavior rather than your feelings. Simply because you do not want to be at the mercy of your anger; instead, you want to flip from putting the lid on inner pressure to be self-disciplined in your reactions.

Consequently, once you acknowledge that anger is part of being human, you will direct your attention to controlling the aggression fueled by anger. Keep in mind that emotions are signals, but the aggressive response is a behavior, therefore a choice. Plus, aggression is not always about violence. Being judgmental, excessively critical, or even passive-aggressive facial or physical gestures indicate aggression.

Consider the following aspects of anger to handle your aggression and not your angry emotions skillfully:

  • Anger is not a negative emotion is part of human experience – Accept it to deal with it constructively. 
  • Anger should not be stifled but influenced. Take a moment to identify your anger’s root cause; is it out of fear, threat, or hurt? This approach will clear distorted perceptions so that you can express your rage in effective ways. 
  • Anger should be communicated – Practice moments of silence before you respond. Remember that nobody will accuse you of how you feel, you are allowed to be angry, but you are responsible for acting upon it regrettably or unjustly. By the way, increasing your emotional vocabulary can significantly support your message.
  • Manage your behavior – Stop ruminating on whatever brought about the negative emotions since it will likely increase your anger’s intensity and cloud your judgment. 
  • Avoid using anger to address your emotional pain since it will become a habit – Learn to deal with it in healthier ways. For instance, if you are mad at someone close to you or at work, talk with them directly only when you are out of your tunnel vision mindset. 

To wrap up, step out of your comfort zone and refrain from lashing out whenever you are upset, or an unexpected has materialized. It might be painful to listen and explore your angry feelings; however, the challenge will equip you well with a toolbox for your responses and place you in a stronger position. 

 

Featured image by Gabe Leonard

Silence Is Power

Silence is the preparation to understand the world around us. Of course, it all depends on how we use it.

  • An earnest silence nourishes the soul and enables awareness. It allows new thoughts to emerge as it stimulates a receptive mind.
  • An enthusiastic silence creates alertness and interest to hear and encourage clarification.
  • Silence brings calm and serenity with others and nature.
  • Silence is a way to doze, to resent, to rage, to be indifferent or detached.

Although there are many intents and purposes for silence, one cannot deny that it plays a vital role in creating something better, meaningful, and peaceful. In the creative world, from composers to writers and artists, silence is used to create a space to communicate ideas without agitation to enhance the experience and encourage comprehension.

Artwork by Michael Whelan

Maybe we should all contemplate the power of silence and how effectively we can communicate without rattling on.

Truly, we should all learn to dwell in silence to express our thoughts and engagement. Knowing that silence is one of the conditions within our power to control, this dynamic state must be part of our daily lives. Certainly, immersing in silence is not an easy task. There are many scenarios that we lose the capacity to be silent, in highly stressful situations, in serious discussions or even self-talk. However, the core understanding of the following statements can help us navigate our emotions and use silence to connect with our creative and strong self.

Silence to calm a situation

You don’t have to turn this into something. It doesn’t have to upset you.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.52

Engage in meaningful talk

“Be silent for the most part, or, if you speak, say only what is necessary and in a few words. Talk, but rarely, if the occasion calls you, but do not talk of ordinary things—of gladiators or horses races or athletes or of meats or drinks—these are topics that arise everywhere.”

Epictetus

As a stoic visualize the worst thing that can happen and champion you fears

“Silence is a lesson learned through life’s many sufferings.”

Seneca

You are in control 

“Remind yourself that your task is to be a good human being; remind yourself what nature demands of people. Then do it, without hesitation, and speak the truth as you see it. But with kindness. With humility. Without hypocrisy.”

Marcus Aurelius

The best answer to anger is silence

“Better to trip with the feet than the tongue.”

—Zeno

Stay humble

“Work hard in silence; let your success make the noise.”

– Frank Ocean

On a final note, be present, be conscious as Rumi said: “Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.”

 

Artwork from Chris Levine